The past couple of months have been very difficult for me and my family. We are a very close, tight knit family, or we use to be anyway and that has all come unraveld these past few months.
My husband and I are very blessed to have the house we do, 5 bedrooms, 3 full baths, living room, dining room kitchen, sunroom (heated), huge yard and plenty of space. So when my two cousins, who are like brothers to me, needed somewhere to stay of course I wasn't going to say no. We took them in with open arms. Of course there were stipulations, they needed to pay us rent, $200 a month ($400 for the one who's girlfriend was moving in also) and they had to help out around the house, not bad right? My one cousin, Joel, had lived with me when we first bought the house, moved out to live with his girlfriend (Jess) then they both moved back in with me. My other cousin (Tom) had broken up with his girlfriend of four years and needed somewhere to stay.
So, Tom moved in Feb. '08 and Joel and Jess followed in April. At first it was great--we had so much fun. It was our own little 'community'. Then the summer came and little things started happening here and there--no big deal, these things happen when people live together. Then rent started being late, or non-existant--o.k., I can let it slide once, maybe twice, but come on now, $200 a month really isn't that much. But, because I am the person I am, I never said anything, which started causing stress between Cody and I, and we already have enough stress being that we live thousands of miles apart we didn't need this.
Then in July I introduced Tom to a 'friend' from work, Amber. I thought they would make the best couple. I thought this from the first moment I met Amber--but I knew she had a boyfriend and Tom had a girlfriend, but still, I couldn't help but think how cute they would be together. So, when I found out that she and her boyfriend had broken up and she was moving down to the area I was so excited. I invited her to the fireworks and they seemed to hit it off.
As the weeks and months went on Amber and I (and Tom) were inseperable, we did everything together. She was the one friend that I had that had no responsibilties and could come over every night and keep me company or go run errands with me or whatever. Everything was great. Then her and Jess started talking, awesome! I wanted them to be friends, I had no problems with them being friends.
The issue came when Amber would come over and hang out and tell me that Jess wanted to hang out the next day and she really didn't want to because she didn't like her or whatever so we would have to come up with a reason why she couldn't--huh? Seriously? But then she would go and make plans to hang out with Jess anyway another day, and so it began. The back stabbing and gossipping and acting like they were in high school again (they are only 26 and act like they are 18 so I guess I should have expected that).
So, one day, the day after Thanksgiving (which was the worst this year) Amber and I were suppose to go shopping--I thought Jess was going to go because she was sitting in Ambers car. Jess and I hadn't spoken in weeks, so I wasn't going to do that to either one of us--I said I would take my own car and follow her to the store. On my way to drop the kids' off I got a text saying that Tom and Jess were going to the mall with her because I had made other plans (I said I was meeting a friend for dinner after we went shopping). The texts went back and forth and finally I said I was removing myself from the situation and that if she wanted to be friends with Jess that was fine, but I didn't want to be a part of it anymore. The following Friday we were suppose to go to NY together on a bus trip, so I told her I wasn't going to go and that if Tom and Jess wanted my tickets they could have them.
Rude, insulting lies insinuated from there on out. And not just from Amber, but from Jess and Tom. They accused me of cheating on my husband or wanting to or whatever and everything else they could think of just because I removed myself from a situation I no longer wanted to be a part of. I expected a lot of that from the girls, but never from Tom, my own family, especially after all I have done for him.
I have lied for him, I have bailed him out of trouble, given him money countless times (and still have yet to see any of it back) and kept secrets he has asked me to keep--like when he pawned all his mothers good jewelry to buy drugs. And I did that because he was family, and my Aunt, their mother kept throwing in my face that family comes first and family is always there for each other and family this and family that. Well this is what I have to say to that--Family doesn't treat family the way those two boys have treated me! I gave them a place to stay pretty much rent free and never once said anything to them about it and what did I get in return? Not a damn thing. Did they help with the kids, absolutely, and I am grateful for that, did they cook, nope, did they clean, yeah but it was an act of congress to get them to.
I haven't spoken to them since they moved out and I can honestly say that I haven't felt this stress free in a long time. There was so much tension in this house it was ridiculous. Jess and Amber caused so much drama, and still are because I still hear everything regardless of what they probably think, that it's sad. It's their fault that this family it torn apart, two strangers who aren't even a part of this family (and God willing never will be) did this, how sad--they're sad. But it's o.k. because I have become closer to those that mean the most to me, my parents, MY grandparent's and my friends--my real friends that love me for who I am, who stand by me no matter what, who will never stab me in the back and who I choose to be My Family.
If for some reason Joel and Tom read this, know that I do love you and I always will YOU are my family
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