Ugh

Yup, second post of the day. Frustrated because I hate stupid people. I would really like to punch them in the face, I think that would make me feel sooooooooo much better or maybe watch them get punched in the face or even run over by a car. Hhhhhmmm--no no, dropped from a plane with no parachute onto cement. Aahhh, I'm feeling better. Deep breaths now. :) It's amazing how some people can get you so worked up just by thinking about them--there was only one other person I think that did that to me. I got over her though--I don't think I'm the only one she did it to though, there is a group of us who wish she would just slit her wrists, lol. Ok, I think my angst level is dropping. Time to make lunches for my day at the DAYCARE tomorrow :) woohoo!

Another Day at the 'DAYCARE'

People continue to humor me, and I'm lovin every single minute of it :) Let's face the facts and the reality of life. People talk about people--it's called gossip. I know people talk about me, whether they admit it or not. My friends, my family, whatever, it's fine. I talk about people too--I enjoy it. I also enjoy, immensly when someone knows I am talking about them, but can't really do anything about it. I'm not threatening or harrassing, I don't do it during work and well, I NEVER mention names. I'm excercising my right to freedom of speech to say what I want about whomever I want whenever I want :-D Can it be hurtful? Yup, at times it sure can be--but such is life, get over it. Can I be a bitch? The biggest. Am I out to make friends? Hell no. I have my friends, I don't want or need anymore. My friends know who I am and love me for it. I started this blog to keep family and friends updated on the kids and then it grew into an outlet for me to vent about stupid people that get on my nerves and I kind of like that. I also have a facebook account--I write what I'm thinking there also. And no, you don't have to 'watch what you write' if you don't want someone to see it, block them. I have a very long list of people who are blocked from my account that can't see anything I write, and I have a feeling I'm going to be adding more--nosey backstabbing fucks at work. Anyway, that's what I have to say about that today. I'm sure there will be more tomorrow because other people let things fester and brew and won't leave it alone and go and talk to everyone else about what's going on--and LIE. "I would never do anything like that" MY ASS.

Trouble Makers

I can be a trouble maker. I have no problem admitting it. There are certain people I know I can get to by saying or doing or writing certain things, so I do--just to start trouble. But when I do it, it never jeopardizes anyones relationship with a spouse or a friend, or puts there job at risk. Now, there are other trouble makers who are out to intentionally hurt people and start shit because they think they are more important then everyone else, they're not, but that's what they think. Case in point. Someone at work was promoted--I found out about it from my MOTHER. I was at the lunch table when said person says "oh did you hear so and so made director?" I said "oh that's old news!" (being an obnoxious bitch because I can :)) She then assumed I had heard it from a friend that works in another department and went and ran her mouth and almost got my friend in trouble. I said ALMOST--she didn't. :-p Just because someone knows something WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY before you doesn't give you the right to go and try to get someone fired over it--geez, grow up! I know ALOT of stuff about work that I don't tell ANYONE, not even my Mom because I don't want this certain person to accidentally find out. I'm sure she thinks she knows, LOL, she doesn't :-)
Anyway, those are the types of trouble makers I don't like. If you want to be a bitch and do something to irk someone because you know it gets on their last nerve that's one thing--but to TRY and get someone fired--NOT cool. And quite frankly won't get you anywhere but further on my, or our, bad side.

Growing Up and Growing Old

When I last wrote I was called away immediately for an emergency at my Grandparents house. It so happens that my Grandfather fell and broke his hip and ended up needing surgery to put a rod and two pins in. To make matters worse it was on his amputated leg :-/ My mother was away visiting my dad in WA state so that left my aunt and I to hold down the fort. Someone needed to stay with my Grandmother at all times due to her having alzheimers. It has been a long week and half, but we managed and all is well. Well, if that is what you call getting old :)

Gramps seems to be doing good, up and moving around, which is awesome. Gram, well, she is not Gram anymore and hasn't been for a long time. Her 'shell' is still Gram, but she, herself left along time ago. It is hard to see her like that. This is a women who use to do so much. She use to bowl, play cards, knit, crochet, drive herself here there and everywhere. Play kickball and football with my youngest cousin and help me when I was a struggling new mom and didn't know which way was up. She would come and feed my daughter and change her and just cuddle her while this over-tired new mom slept. And now, well, if you ask her what she had for lunch five minutes after she ate it, she will tell you something like "well that's ok, we could do something like that out there if you want." Um, yeah, ok. She's here, but she's gone. Alzheimers sucks!

Then there is my Grandfather who would do anything for me, for anyone really, but especially for me. I was (am) his "Queenie" and could do no wrong in his eyes. Even when I was in high school giving my parents a run for their money, I could always go to him. When I got pregnant before I was married, I was scared to death to tell him--but he still loved me, and I still sat pirched high upon that pedistal where I have been since birth. (Did I mention I'm the only Granddaughter in the family?) He would take me to Vermont, just he and I. Or to Westerly for the day. Tell me stories about his past and growing up in New Haven. Being in the Navy. Working at EB. I have heard all these stories a 100 times in my life, but I never stop him, I just let him go on and he smiles. And now, he is frail. In a hospital bed. Weak. But what brings a smile to his face? Seeing his family. Seeing me and the kids come down, even for a little while. He knows this is the last chapter to his novel, you can see it in his eyes. It's a sad, far away look he gets.

Sometimes he doesn't want to eat. We try and coax him with his favorite foods from outside establishments, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I don't know if he doesn't want to eat, because he doesn't want to go on, and he doesn't know how to say that. When he was home, before he fell, there were times when he said he wasn't going to take his medicine anymore. My mom and aunt would tell him "oh yes you are!" Why? He is a grown man, it is his life, right? I am a believer in letting everyone lead their own life. Regardless of how old they are. And regardless of what the outcome of their decisions may be. When I am 83 and I decide I no longer want to take medicine, and I am fully aware of the consquences of my decisions I hope that my children respect that decision. Before you go and judge me. Or before you and say "you don't know what it's like to watch someone you love suffer and die." I do. I know oh too well. At my young age (yes 32 is still considered young! lol) I have seen my fair share of death already. I have sat in a hospital room and watched as my uncle died of lukemia after fighting for 6yrs and then there was finally nothing more that could be done. That was one of the most touching times in my life. Our whole family stayed at the hospital for his final days. Yes, days. He was so strong, his heart, it was days until he finally passed. My Nana was still alive and she had to watch her son die. I don't think a mother should ever have to do that, no matter how old the child. Then there was my Nana. She suffered a stroke. She was in the nursing home for months--not knowing who she was or where she was, literally deteriorating right before our very eyes until she died. Both were slow deaths. I also lost another uncle, those circumstances are little more complicated and tragic so I'm not going to write about it here. And then there is my best friends father. He also suffered a stroke and battled for along time. I was honored that the family allowed me in the room for what were some of his final moments. He was like another father to me, as the family is a second family. So, yes, I do know what it is like to watch someone you love suffer and die right before your very eyes. And I am still a believer that it is their life to do with what they will. As hard as it is on us left behind it is harder on the ones who leave us.

Birthday Week

So, Monday was my b-day :) The big 3-2 lol! Although I was telling everyone I was 21 again :-) How fast 10yrs have gone by--seems like just yesterday I was 22 and pregnant with Skyler thinking "Oh my God! In 10yrs she will be turning ten years old and I'm going to be THIRTY TWO!!! AAAAHHH!!!" And now it's here, and it doesn't seem so bad. Quite frankly I don't feel much different now then I did 10yrs ago, aside from a few surgeries I've had that have set me back here and there, inside, mentally, I feel the same. Not sure if that is a good thing or not, lol. So much has taken place in my life over the past 10yrs. I have had two children, gotten married, lived in two different states, traveled across the country-twice! Renewed my wedding vows in Vegas, purchased a home and have lived apart from my husband and have been raising my children virtually as a single mother for the past four out of the last ten years! Not to mention all the traveling I (we) have done back and forth to Hawaii and/or New Mexico--whew! I'm just tired thinking about it :)

Well, I was going to write more--but alas I am needed at the Grandparents immediately. Stay tuned!

Getting rid of the TRASH and movin on

So, last night I decided I was done with the drama. I don't care about the other two involved. I really don't. I can honestly say that if they were in need of help on the side of the road bleeding from every oraface of their body, I would drive right on by. Is that being a good person, nope. But would they stop for me? I'm going to venture a guess and say no. Now don't get me wrong, if it were one of their children that needed help and was injured or what have you, absolutely I would step up, no questions asked. Because again, the kids have nothing to do with the ridiculousness that has been tossed around the past few weeks over something so stupid. Even the girls know it's stupid. Rhonda's daughter has said to mine and Lori's "I know it's wasn't your Mom's fault I couldn't get in." How sad is that, that a child knows that her own mother was wrong? Anywho :) I'm moving along, I don't need people like them in my life who cause un-needed stress and drama. I have removed and blocked them from my facebook account and have no intention have even acknowleding them out in public or at school events. My children of course can still socialize and speak with theirs, if they still allow that, which they probably wont because that is what type of people ALL of them are--but whatever, my kids don't need to be around people like that either. So, here is to the start of a new day with no drama, no trash and no bitches---other than me :)

Just An FYI

Just thought I would let you know (M&R) because I know you are reading this and that you, Melissa, copied one of my blogs about Lori and sent it to her, LOL, that I do not write anything on my page that she doesn't already know. But, um, nice try--thanks :) Like she said, if I say, or write something about someone, her included, it is probably warranted and deserved. I do not sugar coat anything and if I think you are being retarded and acting in a manner that I don't like, well, yup, I'm gonna write about it. So, you go right ahead and tell her whatever it is you want to try and pit us against each other because whatever it is she has already heard it all first hand.